The Ever So Epic Lives of Us

I've got that feeling...

2012-01-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

you know... THAT one. No it's not baby hungry :) I'm feeling all nostalgic, so I guess I should share my thoughts via blog for all the world to see! New Years always leaves me thinking about self improvement, so instead of setting a bunch of goals that would take a year to accomplish and quitting after the first week, I have decided to break them down into smaller goals that I want to accomplish in three months and weekly steps to get me there.

One of my goals is to do more learning/teaching things with my kids. I am kind of at a loss at any majorly great ideas so I was curious if all my teacher friends could help me out. What do you think is the most important skill for a two year old to learn, what about a four year old? Any suggestions on books or other materials that might help? I would appreciate the advice!

And I thought I would leave you with a photo of what we are enjoying this beautiful January:

Also, who's kids are these? Why oh why does time move at lightening speed? I wish I could freeze them just like they are at every stage and never forget.

SIX

2011-12-28T17:52:00.001-08:00

Six years of wedded bliss today. I wish I could post pics from our wedding but I don't have any on this computer, so here are a bunch of random flash back shots.

Hawaii when we had been married 18 months.

Christmas last year.

I'm sorry but he is HOT! Don't act like you don't agree!

This man is seriously my best friend. The best thing that ever happened to me or ever will happen to me. I know he loves me for who I am and can see the best in me when I can't see it in myself. I had to steal a quote from the nie nie dialogues because it was just too perfect:

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

Louis De Bernieres

Isn't that beautiful? I love it because it is so true! Love is not the crazy "earthquake" that you begin with, it is what resides when the earthquake is over. Reid is that person who loves me at the weirdest times, tells me I am the most beautiful without makeup or nice clothes on, and the crazy thing is, I believe him. He thinks I look BETTER now that I have had kids, because he appreciates my body for what it has done, and I BELIEVE him. He encourages all my crazy ideas, even if they are short lived. He is my calm in the storm. I know we will be together forever, for eternity. Our roots are already intertwined. I love him.

Four

2011-12-27T00:31:00.000-08:00

This kid is four years old. I thought I would compile a photo list of all the things he loves.

Starting with his Grandma Mann (and Grandma Thayne).

Snow (The one time he's seen it),

Glasses and sunglasses,

posing for pictures,

All his Jacksonville friends,

"surfing" and swimming,

riding his bike,

Disney world and Buzz Lightyear,

Mickey Mouse

His pal Blane and Mario,

Spider Man,

Taking pictures (He took this one and the one below it of our friends the Munks),

Having crazy hair,

being crazy with uncle Aaron,

The beach, digging in the sand and his sister,

And life in general. This little boy has grown so fast! I wish I had our jump drive with his baby pics so I could do a little flash back but you can see how much he has changed in just the last year. He is so kind and loving and has taught Reid and I things only a child cab teach a person.

Jackson we love you dearly. Happy Birthday son.

christmas blessings

2011-12-23T01:52:00.000-08:00

I have a lot to write about, our trip to Utah, thanksgiving, all the upcoming festivities but right now I just feel so blessed to be right where I am, surrounded by such amazing people. My little family and I were the recipients of a very kind act of christmas charity. It touched us that someone would give up so much for us. Thank you to those involved. I dont know if you read this, but if you do, thank you. some day i will pay it forward. Merry christmas everyone

2010 vs 2011

2011-11-08T12:48:00.000-08:00

2010

2011

Seriously, where has the time gone? Why does time go by so fast when you have small children? It kinda makes me sad. I hope I can always remember these times.

This is Halloween! This is Halloween!

2011-11-06T12:38:00.000-08:00

MAJOR PICTURE OVERLOAD , consider yourself warned :)

Alright, I know you all have been waited with baited breath to see our Halloween festivities, so I wont deny you of the privilege any longer! :) First of all, Reid and I went to a pirate themed murder mystery dinner at our pals the Munks house. It was really fun. I was a lady pirate (one eyed Wanda to be exact) and Reid was the Governor.

Governor Reid

Lady pirate. (Costume items were limited due to budget so work with me here).

The Bells

The Baxters

The Matthews

Our gracious hosts, the Munks

And last but not least the Hostetters. Everyone got dressed up and got really into their parts. It was definitely something I would do again in the future. Thanks Jake and Suzanne!

Back at our place we carved a "Jack-o-lantern" This really is a terrible pic, but you can see how proud Jackson was of our work. We kept it simple and he helped me a lot.

Spider man and a bumblebee....princess....thing...regardless of what she was, she was CUTE!

Look out for the web!

Doing a little princess curtsy.

Reid decorating our car for the ward trunk or treat. It is kind of a big deal and everyone really goes all out to make it fun for the kids. I love our ward!

Bumblebee and some kind of scary monster guy

The trunk (it looked way more awesome in the dark)

This is Jackson and one of his BFF's Kenna Munk. These two are seriously like brother and sister, they have a love hate relationship. This night it was all love!

Malynn, Aiva, Jack and Kenna. Little BFF's.

Precious bumblebee with minnie mouse.

Kenna bucket head.

the trunk

Blane or Blane-o (as he's more famously known) dressed up as his alter ego, Mario.

Jack and his primary teacher, sister Jump. We love her!

Two peas in a pod! You didn't know Spider man and Mario were BFF's, did you?

This next round were all taken when we went trick or treating on Halloween. There is a really cute little neighborhood just around the corner from us and they all decorated everything really fun! The best part was since it was 65 degrees out, everyone just sat at the edge of their driveway and handed out the candy. The kids had buckets full in no time!

Aiva was so funny, she loved walking but was so SLOW because she was eating each piece of candy as she got it.

Reid collecting the Daddy tax.

This is how we all finished up the night. The kids were pooped in an hour and we decided to pack it up and head home. My inner child was going CRAZY passing all those people sitting in their driveways just HANDING OUT CANDY! But, alas, the sacrifices we make for our children.

It was a really fun weekend. I love fall and Halloween in Florida!

kinks

2011-10-26T14:47:00.000-07:00

I am typing this laying down. Why? Well I thought you'd never ask...
I have a major spasm in my back from the gym today. Not my finest moment. And it didn't even happen because I was doing something awesome like squatting 200 lbs or running a 6 min mile. Nope, I just bent down to pick up a bar and when I stood up, the pain was so bad it took me out.

I am a tad bit obsessed with my workouts so this really ticks me off.

I guess it's rest, ice and stretching for me for the next week. Oh and did I mention that the weather is PERFECT for running any time of day right now? Yeah, torture.

Just thought you should know :)

The time has come...

2011-10-15T17:30:00.000-07:00

Bye bye Summer. See you in March :).

what we've been up to..

2011-10-09T14:40:00.000-07:00

In laws came and we made a little trip to Disney World. I didn't get very many pics..

Jackson went on the tower of terror and he did awesome! I, on the other hand, was terrified.

I ran the marine corps half marathon. It was the most beautiful weather you could ask for!

It's hard to see but this is me. I finished in 2:04! That's a 9:31 min mile. I thought it was pretty sweet.

Ran it with this girl, Ashley Larkin and she dominated.

Here we are at the finish line!

I was starving and couldn't walk for two days but I think I may just have to do another....

And today Jack and I made some Halloween sugar cookies....

He was in charge of the sprinkles as you can see.

Happy Sunday!

Oh, and my hubby has his birthday on Wed so be sure to wish him a great day!

sabotage

2011-09-30T11:40:00.000-07:00

I have a problem. I think I have struggled with this problem my whole life. Sabotage. I sabotage myself. I have this inner dialogue telling me I am not good enough or that I don't deserve all the good things in this life that I want or have. I believe this has come from about 21 years of a troubled childhood followed by a relationship that I was not emotionally ready to be in. These things have handicapped me into thinking I am a negative person and that is just who I am. A victim of my life's circumstances.

Why am I putting this up on the Internet for all to see? Well I have decided that this has got to stop. I have wondered if blogging about something so personal is really for me, and I keep feeling like I need to do it, like there is someone else out there that feels like I do and needs some help. I also need some accountability. So here I am, letting you all (all 5 of you who read) help me be a better person.

I want to reach my potential in all aspects in my life, to be "self actualized" if you will. To do this, these road blocks have to go.

The first thing I struggle with is my physical appearance. PLEASE note: I am NOT fishing for compliments here, this is something that I AM taking action to change about myself. Growing up I was never the "pretty girl" I was downright chubby at times and a mean girl in seventh grade even told me I was the spitting image of Kevin Bacon. You know, Kevin Bacon the actor that is not very attractive? Well apparently when I was 13, I looked just like him. I totally laugh at this now but back then it seriously scarred me. I also grew up pretty poor and never really had cute clothes or the "latest" in anything, and well, we all know high school is not kind to these girls.

I made up for these "shortcomings" by being the "funny" girl and doing really well in school because it was always my dream to be a doctor and walk in to see one of the "popular" girls pregnant with her 6th child and miserable. (I know I am a terrible person).

I also had a very hard childhood. My father died when I was nine years old and my mother remarried a guy who pretty much turned into a monster after their honeymoon. My mom stayed in this abusive relationship for almost 14 years and so did me and my brothers and sisters. The mental and physical abuse that ensued left me insecure and with very low self esteem.

All this background information is leading up to this: I never believed I was good enough, and I am starting to now, after five and a half years of TLC from my hubby and awesome people in my life. I think feeling like I can MAYBE reach my potential is stirring this internal dialogue and I am now recognizing that this has been holding me back.

So, starting today. I am on low self esteem recovery plan and it goes like this:

I will not think negative things about myself, and when I do, I will immediately replace it with something positive.

I will not sabotage my diet and exercise efforts. I work too hard at the gym to not look how I want to look so you will not find me eating anything that will sabotage those goals any longer.

I will read my scriptures daily and pray for help.

I will do something for my physical, emotional and spiritual well-being each day.

That's really all I've got so far, but I am sure I will be adding more.

To start this life change, I am running my first half marathon tomorrow! Wish me luck!

Disney World Day 3

2011-09-19T18:03:00.000-07:00

Animal Kingdom!

Last but not least, we went to Animal Kingdom. It was so cool! We will for sure be going back to see it all. It was such a fun day even when it down poured on us! It was kind nice to be soaked in the heat.

Tree of Life

Aiva and Reid on the safari.

We didn't get very many good pics of animals but it was really cool.

4 kids in one stroller, I highly recommend the Bob.

Congo drums!

Second round of ice cream.... twice as messy.

A Hindu lady made this for Jack.

I took the kids on this ride in the rain, they weren't too sure about it.

soaked.

And here is Jack flying his Buzz Lightyear.

The trip was the best stay-cation we could have asked for, thanks again Ashley and Brian! If anyone feels the need to come and visit us, we have season passes and would love to go with you!

Disney World Day 2

2011-09-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

MAGIC KINGDOM! And Magic it was! We were gearing to go for an amazing day and it did not disappoint!

The kiddos... and me...

The had all the Halloween decorations up when we were there, they were so cute!

The castle was so much bigger than the one at Disneyland.

Aiva loved this Minnie Mouse.

Me and Ash in front of the Castle. I just have to point out my deltoid muscle and Ashley's sweet calves, did I mention she has a three month old?

Is this not the sweetest pic ever?!

The crew.

The carousel was Aiva's favorite ride. She kept saying "horsee! Horsee!!"

The Sword and the stone.

Blane and Mickey

Jack and Mickey.

And a super awkward photo of me and the kids with Mickey... I have no idea why I am standing this way...

We had lunch with the characters from Winnie the Pooh, Jack and Blane mauled Pooh Bear, and Blane stuck his head up his shirt, it was so funny!

TIgger!

Aiva was so hot by time this photo was taken......

Buzz lightyear ride!

Pretty girl on a train.

We ended the night at Epcot center. We didn't get to do too much though but we will go back!

Disney World Day 1

2011-09-19T17:21:00.000-07:00

We finally made it to the happiest place on Earth thanks to our awesome friends the Larkins! They invited us to stay with them at their time share and even let us drive their car! (awesome I know).
The first day we went to Disney Hollywood Studios and it was so fun! It went as follows...

Ashley and I in front of the Magic hat.

The first "ride" we went on was the Muppet 3D ride, Aiva loved it! She kept her 3D glasses on the whole time and was trying to grab everything.

Jackson's dream came true when he got to meet lightening McQueen!

There was a lot of cool stuff here but we didn't get to see most of it, good thing we have Season Passes!

This was on the Toy Story ride, Jackson thought it was "AWESOME!"

Howdy....

We ate at Pizza Planet!

This picture is to show that I am eating an apple while everyone else was eating pizza.... just saying.

Awesome parade-age.

Aiva loved it when the characters would come out. She would say lets go see the "guy" but then she was too scared to stand next to them (Please excuse my outfit, there really is no way to look cute when you are going to be sweaty and nasty and walking all day)

Blane aka "Blane-o" and the kids enjoying some delicious ice cream bars.

And here we are leaving the park. We were pooped! The kids were awesome and happy most of the day, and we were all extremely sweaty and hungry, just the way you should be!

surfer dude

2011-08-22T19:08:00.000-07:00

Jacks first official wave he caught by himself.

(don't worry.... he isn't as far out as he looks)

surfs up dude.

Where has the time gone?

2011-08-01T01:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while because I like to put up pics with my posts but since all it seems like I do lately is work, I decided I'd just have to bore you with my words.

It is 4:52 a.m. right now. I am working my 4th night shift IN A ROW. Why on earth would I do this to myself? (I have been asking myself that same question every night) It is a temporary thing. In just two short weeks I will only be working PRN at the NICU job and spending time with my kids while Reid is in school.

For those of you who have never worked a night shift, let me explain to you why 4 in a row is such a big deal.

The first night you work, you're a little sleepy but with a little help from caffeine you can make it through and recover pretty quickly if you don't have to come back the next night.

The second night is a little rocky but not too bad because you usually have slept the whole day before (but you never feel rested). When it's over it is very difficult to drive home and I usually crash into bed without washing my face or brushing my teeth, (gross I know).

The third night was a new experience for me. First of all, I have absolutely no recollection of driving home yesterday morning. I had about a twenty minute drive and I literally do not know how I got home. (Note to self: DO NOT drive at 7:30 a.m. if it can be avoided) Studies have proven that driving drowsy is worse than driving drunk. I think I sleep-drove. Then I got home and was hallucinating. It was really weird. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I proceeded to sleep all day again, and woke up feeling like I could have slept all night too.

And that brings me to now. Night #4 almost over. I have never felt this level of fatigue in my life, and that is pretty scary seeing as I have peoples lives in my hands. I am officially on auto pilot/survival mode. Somehow my brain is still able to make my body work, but I have no idea how.

I am doing this because money is scarce around our house right now. This world is just too expensive to live in. For example, my electric bill was almost $300 for a three bedroom apartment! Crazy! But I am grateful that I have a job I can go to and pick up extra shifts if I need the money, because there are so many people who don't have that luxury.

Oh and did I tell you that Reid has been home entertaining two very sick kids by himself for the past three days AND unpacking all of our stuff since we moved to a smaller apartment AND cleaning the old apartment while I sleep AND making me dinner?

We are a team. And a damn good one at that.

We are beach people

2011-07-06T18:05:00.000-07:00

Summer time by the beach is a very special thing. It just FEELS right, ya know? Like you're on vacation all the time and that nothing else matters. It helps to make Summer feel really care free, even with loads of stress.
I love palm trees, and I love the way they make any picture look like paradise.
This pic was in the gorgeous St Augustine, we went when Reid's parents were here. (sadly I didn't get many cute pics.)
This is Jackson and Jackson. No kidding. These two are buds and they play awesome together.

I never want to forget the way their little feet look all covered in sand and the way they smell like the ocean after.

4th of July was special. I missed the fireworks at Sugarhouse but it was so cool to be at the beach. Everyone was listening to music and lighting their own fireworks, so laid back.

I love that we are having this chance to raise our kids by the beach, even if it is only temporary. There is something so special about watching them run through the waves and get more and more adventurous every time, catch crabs and fish and learn about wildlife and how to be kind to it, see build and use their imagination creating a castle or just digging in the sand.

I hope that the tranquility of the ocean will wear off on them and they will carry it around with them for the rest of their lives, even if our time here only ends up being short.

Less is more

2011-06-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

Our lives constantly seem to be moving in fast forward, as I know many of yours do too, and it's so so easy to get caught up in "the world."

Since my husband is a student, and we live on a tinylittle budget, WE have decided to make some changes in our lifestyle. We are living on less, much much less, than we used to and we are going to be living on even less when fall semester starts.

We are going to be consuming less, owning less, and hopefully spending LESS.

I get so tired of my stuff OWNING me. I hate working to pay my car payment. I hate working to pay for clothing or other crap I bought on a credit card two months ago. I hate working to pay for a toy my child has played with ONCE and now sits broken in a basket with his other toys. The things we own, end up owning us.

So we are cutting our expenses by moving into a smaller apartment in the same complex (little nervous about this one), working hard to pay off credit cards and small student loans this summer, and selling things we don't use or need.

I am actually excited about all of this. I know that if we can live a good life on $30,000 a year, we will be doing awesome once Reid is graduated and working as an attorney.

So here's to not being owned by our possessions!! (Now if only we weren't going to be owned by student loans, but that is another battle in itself)

Miracle

2011-06-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

She's off the vent!!

My friend Loni is off the vent and doing well. It is seriously a miracle. I can't wait to talk to her tomorrow and hear about all of the crazy dreams she had while she was under sedation :)

Loni

2011-06-15T17:01:00.001-07:00

This is my dear friend Loni. I met this girl about 10 months ago when we moved to jacksonville and we were instant friends. She is one of the most kind, honest, spiritual, thirifty, funny, genuine people I have ever met. And she is very very sick.

One week ago she was admitted to the hospital for a minor complication from a routine surgery and as of today she is on life support. Her heath has steadily gotten worse over the past three days and finally, her lungs were ready to give out and they had to intubate her.

I am so stricken with grief and I have only known this girl for less than a year. I cannot imagine how her family and her darling husband are feeling right now. My heart is broken for them.

Despite all of this, I am confident she will recover. She has to recover.

So hold your family tight in your arms and cherish them for all of their imperfections, because life is fragile and you never know when it will be taken from you.

Please pray for my friend and her family.

I'm a mom

2011-05-05T22:10:00.001-07:00

I am a mom.

There were several years in my life where I was sure I would never hold such a title. I didn't want to. I was brought up in that generation where motherhood was starting to be devalued, and if your only aspiration was to be a mother, well you were not ambitious.

It wore off on me. That and other things.

I did not have a very easy childhood and things in my home growing up made me feel like being a mother was not something I was interested in because I didn't want to be in the same position as my mother. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and she did the best she could with what she was given, but she was constantly battling her own ghosts, past and present. Things seemed stressful and tense a lot and even though I am sure there were many things going on that I was not aware of, I decided that that life was not for me. That motherhood was not for me.

Then I met Reid.

We had been married about six months before I had a VERY strong desire to have children. Something I had never felt in my life. It surprised me, and I KNOW it surprised Reid. We were called to the nursery at church and it only made me want a child of my own even more.

We had been married about 15 months when I got pregnant with Jackson. It wasn't planned, but I wanted it more than anything. Despite the fact that I wanted it, I freaked out. Reid did too. The pregnancy was uneventful and we both seemed ambivalent about what was to come.

The day Jackson arrived into this world, I changed. I grew and my heart was like the picture on "how the Grinch stole Christmas" where his heart grew five sizes. Never the less, I was scared. I didn't think I knew how to express my love to this child or take care of him. We had a lot of support, but my biggest support was my Savior. I prayed a lot.

One morning at 3:00 a.m, I was looking at him and felt this overwhelming feeling of love. I knew it was my heavenly father telling me he loved me, and the crazy thing is, I felt that strong feeling of love for my son. My son taught me what the Saviors love feels like.

When I was pregnant with Aiva, I worried how I could ever love her as much as I love Jackson. I seriously did not know if it was possible. Well I am happy to say that that little girl is my little side kick. She is a mommas girl and I truly love it. I know when she makes eye contact with me she is trying to tell me how much she loves me, and I feel it deep in my soul. She was the greatest birthday present I ever had.

I still struggle with that inner teenager telling me to "get a better career" (see this post). And I realize now that the thing I want more than anything, is to raise my children in a positive house, filled with love for God, not a house full of worry.

We will have financial security eventually, but I want to give my children a different kind of security, emotional. I want to give them the emotional security that I feel I missed out on as a child. I still am not sure what I'm doing at times, but I am learning. I am growing, and it's all because of them.

"If our children really are our most precious treasures, we should regard them as such and make sure they feel it," Gordon B. Hinkley.

I don't want or need anything this mothers day. My children have been gift enough.

Fried chicken

2011-05-04T20:27:00.001-07:00

So when we moved out here, one of the first things I noticed was the abundance of fast food fried chicken places.

There are seriously TONS! Chick-fil-a, Zaxbys, popeys, bo-jangles, pollo loco and more.

It blew my mind that people from the south really do love their fried chicken that much, I though it was just a stereotype.

Well I am proud to announce that my son now officially joins their ranks. He LOVES chick-fil-a chicken nuggets and would eat them all day every day if I let him.

Maybe we are destined to be southerners after all.

16 days...

2011-05-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

In 16 days I get to see all of my favorite people!! Can't wait.

(and many more who aren't pictured)

The Five year plan

2011-04-29T23:02:00.000-07:00

I'm an action kind of girl. I like to have a plan in life and I do my best to stick to it. This proves difficult when you're married and have two kids but I still try.

I have been wondering a lot lately about what I want out of this life. I get nervous about the burden and stress that the student loans will have on our lives, so I think, I am going to have to work full time for a while anyway after Reid is done with school to help support us while we pay off the loans, so why not do something more than floor nursing?

For those of you who are not nurses and don't know anything about nursing, it is a tough job. You pretty much go to work, get the crap beat out of you all day, do nasty/disgusting procedures that nobody in their right mind would ever want to do, work 12 hour shifts, get no respect and all for pretty mediocre pay.

I do not want to be a floor nurse for the rest of my life.

In my perfect world I could just stay home with my kids and have this fun happy life. That WILL be possible in about 5-6 years, but in the meantime, do I keep doing this job that isn't as fulfilling and great as I once thought nursing was?

So, I am seriously considering going to nurse practitioner school. Nurse practitioners in the Jacksonville area make between 90,000-100,000 per year STARTING. Currently, you can get your NP at a masters level (5 semesters straight through so two years). As of 2013- this will no longer be possible, the NP will change to a doctorate program and will be 9 semesters long. YIKES! So as long as you are enrolled in NP school (at the schools I've been looking at here in Florida) by fall of 2012, you can get the masters.

Tuition at the schools I am looking at for Florida residents (which I am one now) for the entire program is between $14,000- 16,000. Mayo clinic will pay for half. SO I could walk out of school into a job making $95,000 per year for around $7,000. Sounds stupid not to do it right? The numbers totally make sense. I figure I do it, work full time for two to three years so we can pool our resources and get loans paid off quickly, (plus both of the kids would be in school by time I was done) then I could hopefully get a part time clinic job just to be a supplementary income and then when the kids are grown-ish, I could go back full time.

But then I think- am I a crazy person??

Doing this would mean Reid and I would be in grad school at the same time (I would start my first year as he is finishing his last), it would be super stressful (although people that I know that are doing it say the first year isn't that bad), we don't have any family here to help so we would have to hire a nanny or something, and I worry that I will be so busy that I will regret being gone so much wile my kids were little.

Sorry, this is super long winded- I guess I am just trying to figure things out... any comments, suggestions, opinions??

the jack mann

2011-04-22T11:58:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought this kid would go from grunting and pointing at things until he was two to talking ALL the time!

He says the funniest stuff too.

Lot's of things are his "favorite." recently he has said:
"mom, dora (as in dora the explorer) is my favorite. she is so awesome!"
"mom, Aiva is my favorite."
"mom, maps are my favorite (pretty sure that is from Dora too)"
"kitty cat's are my favorite, they are pretty and cool."

He is also getting quite the imagination.
He was shoving some books under the couch the other day "so the horses wont get them and eat them."
He plays with toys and has names for them and talks to them.

He is also quite the negotiator. He can try and talk you into anything:
"mom, after I take a nap, after I eat my lunch, after I pick up my toys.... I go to Kenna's house."

He will try this technique with anything.

I love that he finds things funny now and will laugh at shows or jokes or books. I was not sure this day would ever come!!

Love this crazy boy.

I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you..

2011-04-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

I have been sick. Sick is really an understatement, I think this is the most sick I have ever been in my whole life. It's the kind of sick that makes you feel like an old lady (no offense) and a useless piece of crap (no offense again) all at the same time. Pneumonia is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

That being said... it is hard for me to accept help from people. I mean yeah I can take the occasional babysitting swap or the combined Sunday dinner but anything other than that makes me feel bad because I feel guilty for taking someones precious time, time that would surely be spent better somewhere else.

Living away from family is hard, especially in times like these, but I am seriously so grateful that somehow we landed in this awesome place. My friends are awesome. Seriously. They are the kind of ladies that live the gospel and would do anything for anyone and I love that about them, especially when I am on the receiving end of said efforts :)

So a big thank you goes out to all my lady friends and your awesomeness. I hope I can reciprocate someday.

Just a quick thought about service. Does anyone ever find it more humbling to be served instead of the one doing the service? I do. Weird how that works.

The peanuts photo shoot

2011-04-17T14:29:00.001-07:00

Um yeah... I dare you to find a cuter little girl. Not possible.

the mayo

2011-04-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

I work here... No seriously, you need to look at these pictures. This hospital is amazing. Sadly, I am not caring for my beloved babies... I am back to adults. Med-surg adults that is. Many factors went into this decision: 1. 5 min from my house 2. part time nights with awesome pay. 3. and that is about it.... Do I love my job? No. Will it pay the bills? Yes. Am I going to stick it out? Maybe. Mayo clinic is a very prestigious place to work. Having it on my resume will help me out in the future but going back to pain control and all the dirty work that comes along with adults (think babies X10), well I don't love it. I am however grateful for a job, a very flexible one with good pay. Don't look the gift horse in the mouth right? (whatever that means..) oh and if this is all one big paragraph, my apologies, I am at work and it makes it go all weird for some reason.

Alright, Alright

2011-04-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

After many complaints (ha ha) from all my blog readers (ha ha) I have decided to do my best and keep it going. Our life has gotten SUPER crazy as of late, here is an update: Aiva: Trying so hard to walk, teething like crazy and loving to swim. Jackson: Doing speech and starting OT this week and he is doing great! He is doing Gymnastics at the Little Gym and saying crazy stuff all the time. Reid: Law school and being the phenomenal father and husband that he always has been. He takes the kids to the babysitter (thanks Suzanne), picks them up, cook dinner, does the laundry, bathes the kids and everything else that needs to be done when I work a 12 hour shift ON TOP of going to law school. I don't know many who could do what he does. Me: I am still working full time and still doing orientation at the Mayo clinic. It is ok, I don't love it honestly, but it works for our family and it pays the bills nicely. I am seriously considering enrolling in an online Nurse Practitioner program because I really don't want to be a floor nurse for the rest of my life. We shall see though. I have been trying to stay positive and motivated during this stressful time in our lives and one thing that has really helped me has been listening to conference. I had Reid download it onto my ipod and I listen to it in the morning while I am getting ready for work and while I am walking in (it's literally like a 10 min walk to my floor from the car). It has brought me so much peace and I feel the spirit all day because of it. This is something I want to continue in my life forever. I highly recommend it. some of my fav talks from last conference were about: marriage (here) and Motherhood (here) please listen, you'll be glad you did! Beware, they will make you bawl like a baby :)

SLacking

2011-03-31T17:00:00.001-07:00

I have been a major slacker at blogging. I have toyed with the idea of giving it up completely. For a while I told myself I wrote it for journaling purposes but I don't really know why I have kept it up. Sometimes I enjoy it, other times I do it out of obligation.

Life is just too crazy right now with Reid in school, me working full time, church stuff, friend stuff, family stuff, KID stuff, Jackson stuff...... I just need to let some things slide. So for now, I will leave you with some pics of my kids. And I'll catch you on Facebook.

My dad

2011-02-22T13:43:00.001-08:00

(please excuse the weird image, I scanned these photo's together forever ago and don't know how to separate them)

This is my Dad. His name is Curtis Mark Christopherson. He died when I was nine years old. It has been 18 years.

I don't really miss him because I really don't have any memories, but I miss the idea of him.
My mom wrote a poem in my scrapbook about him and at the end she said "the only real death is forgetting."
Sadly that is what we have all done. Nobody talks about him. The day of his birth and death go by without any recognition. I have three memories of him, and they are not great.

I wish we had done better at keeping his memory alive, but I guess it's never too late.

Love you Dad.

Happy First (and 27th)

2011-02-19T18:34:00.001-08:00

We had a birthday shout hooray!

Aiva got totally spoiled by all her friends and all she wanted to play with after was her brothers underwear. Go figure. I think those were clean at least.

Tons of toys

What party is complete without your besties! :) Miley, Aiva and Jaycee are all about a month apart.

Aiva had her one year checkup. Here are the stats:

Weight: 18 lbs 15 oz (5th %)

Height: 30 inches (75%)

can't remember head size.

She's a tall skinny one. Sadly she will be in a rear facing car seat for a while longer.

Oh and I didn't vaccinate her, but that is another topic.

She is talking! She says mama, dada, dog, duck, and the other day she said toot! I loved it! She will try to copy pretty much anything you say.

Happy birthday Angel. We love you.

Oh and thank you for sharing your birthday with me. I love it. Best gift I ever got.

This little baby..

2011-02-16T18:59:00.001-08:00

Isn't a baby anymore. She will be one tomorrow and I almost want to cry. I don't know where the time has gone.

On a lighter note, we will be having a fun little polka dot themed party tomorrow and having a good time, I will post pics and all that when I can!

Happy birthday my sweet little peanut.

Sacrament meeting

2011-02-13T15:38:00.000-08:00

I spoke in sacrament today. It went really well. You know how a lot of the time when you get asked to speak, it is really more for your benefit than the people your speaking to? Well this was definitely one of those situations..

If you're interested at all here is my talk. take a gander (warning it's kinda long).

I was asked to speak to you about a talk given at the last general conference by Bishop Richard C. Edgley called “faith- the choice is yours.” This talk is truly an inspired talk that really needs no commentary from me, as a matter of fact I was tempted to stand up here and play the MP3 from the church website and let it speak for itself, but alas, I am sure I would learn nothing from that and you all would miss out on seeing me shake and tremble while trying not to humiliate myself.

We make many choices day in and day out. We chose what we will wear in the morning, what we will eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, whether or not we will brush our teeth, if we feed the dog, comb our hair or say hello to our neighbor. At any given point in the day you can probably find yourself making choices, either consciously or sub-consciously. You are choosing whether or not to listen to me right now, and I hope you are making the right choice…..Faith is just like any of those other decisions we make. Faith is a choice.

Bishop Edgley said (quote #1)

· The reality of the Savior, His atoning sacrifice, and its universal application for all of us is challenged and often dismissed as a myth or the baseless hope of a weak and uneducated mind. Furthermore, the reality of the Restoration of the gospel in these latter days continues to be challenged. The continual bombardment of such messages may cause confusion, doubt, and pessimism, each attacking the fundamental truths we believe in, our faith in God, and our hope in the future. This might be the reality of our world, but we can still choose how we react to it. This is our opportunity to choose.

We live in a world where many choices are freely accepted- drinking, smoking, homosexuality, and all matters of sin are seen as normal and acceptable choices by the world. But if you choose faith, if you choose to believe that there is more to this life than what we see on this Earth, some perceive you as naive or uneducated. How does that even make sense? By having faith in God and Jesus Christ, you will surely better your world and those around you, yet some do not understand and may even argue with you.

Bishop Edgley said (quote #2).

· Because of the conflicts and challenges we face in today’s world, I wish to suggest a single choice—a choice of peace and protection and a choice that is appropriate for all. That choice is faith.

Not all choices are cut and dry. There isn’t always a clear right or wrong. When my husband was laid off from his job in October of 2009, I was six months pregnant with our daughter. I worked part time in the NICU at a hospital in SLC. Graduate school was never a part of our original plan, we were doing just fine with Reid’s job and me working part time. We didn’t have a lot but we had more than most. We were debt free and happy. As the months passed and Reid could not find a job and the birth of our daughter was closer and closer, we decided that we had to make a change, and that was where law school, and the most stressful year of our lives came in. 2010 was a whirlwind. We listed our condo for sale in January, had a baby in February, she was sick with RSV and hospitalized for a week when she was 10 days old, Reid took the LSAT and started applying for law schools, I was on maternity leave and the bills started rolling in. We thought we were crazy to up and leave everything for Florida. We had no support system, knew nobody, had no plans for how we would live, but we felt strongly that it was the right thing to do. We chose faith.

April and May were filled with making plans and getting ready for the move; June and July were packing and loading the truck. Because our children were small, Reid drove out here with his dad and the two of them had to unload the moving truck, but thank goodness for the church. I would like to publicly thank Dan Murf and the two strapping young missionaries that helped my husband and his dad move all of our belongings into the apartment at noon on July 29^th.

Since Reid drove out here, I had to fly with two children by myself. Aiva was five months old and Jackson two and a half. I was extremely nervous about how I would be able to handle the six hour flight with the two kids, but I had faith that the lord would help me. My sister and sister in law helped me get through the airport and onto the first flight. This leg was three hours long. The first two were ok, Jackson watched movies and played games and Aiva slept on the floor under my seat. The last hour was a disaster. Jackson was restless and wanted to walk up and down the small isle, and aiva was fussy and I could not get her to stop crying. I am sure the passengers next to me were more than irritated, yet nobody offered to help. The plane landed, 30 minutes late, and I had 30 minutes to get to my next flight, feed both kids, change diapers, feed myself oh and go to the bathroom for the first time in five hours. I got off the plane, put the kids in the stroller and ran through the airport. After I got the kids changed and went to the bathroom myself, I was extremely flustered. It was 10 at night; I was exhausted and still had another two hours to go. I said a prayer there in that bathroom. I asked heavenly father to help me make it through this and to get home in one piece.

I started running to my gate, because it was time for the plane to take off, and when I got there it was delayed for one hour. This was a blessing! Jackson had time to run around and get out some energy and I could feed myself and Aiva before getting on the plane. Jackson spied a family with three little girls and wanted to play with them, the mother was so kind and told me to go and sit and eat and she would watch Jackson for me. As we were getting on the plane, I had to fold my stroller back up and a nice woman behind me offered to hold Aiva and her husband offered to hold onto Jackson. The woman told me she could hold Aiva during the flight if I wanted her to but I was nervous so I asked her what seat she was in and she was sitting directly behind me! She held Aiva while I got Jackson settled, and gave Jackson a flashlight that entertained him, and annoyed everyone else, for the rest of the flight. Besides the drunken man I was sitting next to, the rest of the flight went smoothly and I was thankful for the kind strangers who helped me and heavenly father sending them to my aid.

Choosing faith can be a scary thing at times. It isn’t something tangible that you can see or touch. It is just like a spiritual GPS. Sometimes you’re not sure that your GPS will take you where you want to go, but you have faith that you entered the coordinates correctly and that the lovely lady in your dashboard will take you where you need to be. Faith is like that. Trust, blind trust at times is necessary.

Bishop Edgley goes on to say (quote #3)

· The Savior said, “Come unto me” (Matthew 11:28) and “Knock, and it shall be [given] you” (Matthew 7:7). These are action verbs—come, knock. They are choices. So I say, choose faith. Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism.

Doubt, Fear, the unknown and unseen, pessimism. I, along with many of you, am plagued with these feelings every day. Never in my life have I been know as an optimist. I have always been a “glass is half empty” kind of girl. I thought that this was just the way I was raised, a product of my life experiences. Never did I think it was a choice, until now.

My father passed away from carbon monoxide poisoning just three days after my ninth birthday. My parents had been divorced since I was three and my mother had not remarried in the six years. I remember his funeral very vividly. I remember standing next to his casket, holding his hand and rubbing it, thinking that if I could just warm it up, he would come back to life. I remember the drive to his burial, falling asleep in the car and waking up thinking it had all been a bad dream and having to face the harsh reality all over again. I remember the weeks that followed having dreams about dying and telling my mother what dress to bury me in if I did not wake up in the morning.

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I remember believing there was no god. I remember feeling like if there was a god, why would he have taken my father from me. From the age of ten on, I don’t think I let myself feel his presence. So I never did, and if I did, I just chalked it up to my mind playing tricks on me. For the next ten years, I made some bad choices. I was going down a road of unhappiness and sorrow. I thought that this was just the way life was. That those happy people who said they loved Jesus were all faking it.

Then something happened and came to a crossroads in my life where I knew if I wanted to be happy, I had to change so I turned to God, and you know what? He was still there, he never left. I just had been choosing not to let him in. I had not been choosing faith.

Needless to say, I cleaned up my act and an amazing man took pity on me and I entrapped him in my womanly spell and we were married in the Salt Lake temple in December of 2005. Since I met my husband, I have never been more at peace. He really did save my soul. Now this is not to say that I have not had my moments of doubt since then, I have had many. I am a worrier. I worry constantly about things I have no control over.

I recently applied for a job at the Mayo clinic and just heard this week that I got it. Since that day, I have worried and stressed about how this would work for us.

Never in my life did I think I would have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom but I have been for the last eight months, and now that the time has come for me to go back to work, it is very difficult and stressful. I want to feel at peace with either decision but I do not. So I am choosing faith. I am choosing to let this situation work for us and let the lord guide us.

Bishop Edgley goes on to say (quote #4)

· Yes, faith is a choice, and it must be sought after and developed. Thus, we are responsible for our own faith. We are also responsible for our lack of faith. The choice is yours.

the choice is yours brothers and sisters. Only you are responsible for your faith. My faith literally started out as the size of a tiny mustard seed and look at all I have been blessed with.

Because of my faith, I was lead to a wonderful man and married in the temple for time and all eternity and have two beautiful children born in the covenant.

Because of my faith, we were lead to Florida and to this ward where my testimony has grown leaps and bounds and strengthened me in ways I never thought possible.

Because of my faith, I have made wonderful friends in this ward and through law school, who have been my family. I don’t know how we would ever make it without all of your love and kind acts of service. You have all showed me what the love of Christ really is.

There are many things I do not know or understand. But I know when I have felt the sprit and when the lord has spoken to me directly, and these are things I cannot deny. The rest will be worked out in heaven.

Choose faith brothers and sisters. Choose peace and protection. Choose Him. He has already chosen you. Take it from a known pessimist; your faith will set you free.

I testify that Jesus died for all the sins of the world. That we can be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity. I testify that there is more to this life than what is on this Earth, that we will rise again and walk with our father in heaven. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Jackson update

2011-02-08T12:39:00.000-08:00

Here's a little update on Jackson:

I took him to be evaluated by a speech therapist and an occupational therapist last week and they were both of the opinion that he is NOT Autistic but has Sensory Processing Disorder (which is what I thought he had all along). The good thing about this is that it can be easily treated and he can most likely learn to control his impulses and live a "normal" life. The opinion of the therapists does not outweigh the pediatrician so we still have the label of PDD. Jackson will be going to a behavioral clinic next week and they will do an Autism screening and they will see if he REALLY falls on the spectrum.

This experience has taught me and Reid so much. We are more grateful for the health of our kids then we ever have been. Things could be much harder and much worse. I am thankful that Heavenly Father gave him to us instead of a family not able to be patient with him and care for all his various needs, I am glad he chose us.

We will just keep going on this journey until it leads us somewhere else.

In other news, I had an interview with the Mayo clinic here. I hope I get this job!! They had a ton of applicants so we will see.

Aiva is crawling all over the place and will be ONE next week (oh and I will be 27 too.... but who cares about that)!! I cannot believe my little baby girl is growing up so fast. She will be 27 before I know it. Ugh and I will probably be 30 before I know it .... (just a little friendly jab at the hubby).

Winter in Florida

2011-02-02T17:34:00.001-08:00

No explanation necessary.

I have some 'splaining to do

2011-01-19T11:24:00.000-08:00

"pervasive developmental delay not otherwise specified." Those were the words Jack's pediatrician used on Friday to tell me what his deal was. His deal is apparently Autism.

Autism.

The word seriously makes me sick and I really don't know why. I think it probably has something to so with the fact that years ago when I saw Jenny Macarthy on Ellen talking about her book "Louder than Words," where she describes her son's battle with Autism, I thought, I don't know how she got through that, I couldn't handle it if my child was diagnosed Autistic.

And yet here we are.

I have always known Jack was different from other children. I remember when he was nine months old and we moved to a new apartment and I saw a sweet girl (Emaly Brand for those who know her) holding her baby over her shoulder and he was sleeping. Our boys are the same age and Jackson would never do that. Then there was his speech. He started babbling like any other kid but at around one year, he just stopped. I remember being worried but I asked my pediatrician and she said he was fine. Then at 18 months the aggression started in. He starting hitting, pushing and just being downright mean to kids he played with and we tried every possible disciplinary technique and hoped he would just grow out of it. He hasn't.

He is a very happy, loving, smart and social child, which are all amazing qualities in the world of Autism. So we are thankful. His delays are mild and, with therapy, he can most likely be "cured" by time he is in school. That's right, Autism is now curable.

It is still hard. I look at him differently now. It's like you almost have to mourn the child you used to have, even though he is the same. It's like you have to get to know him all over again because for the last three years, he was trying to show me and I couldn't see it. He experiences the world differently than you and I. That makes him special. He is impulsive and easily frustrated. Apparently that makes him "developmentally delayed."

I am angry at times. I am mostly angry that this life will be harder for him than it needs to be. That he will have to struggle more than he should. I wish it was me. I want to know what I did wrong and how I can fix it. I want to make people stop staring at him when he has a melt down at the park because someone touched his toy. I want everyone to see and know the sweet, innocent little boy I know who is so loving to everyone (except if you tick him off :)). And I am worried. Worried this will never happen, well at least not for a while.

Now we start interventions. OT, speech therapy and an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician are all on the list. I think it is going to take a long time to get any of this done.

We are lucky though. Lucky that heavenly father sent him to a loving family who can give him what he needs, most of the time. Lucky that he is so young and so mold able. Lucky that we have a friend in our ward who has a child with the same thing. Lucky we have so much support. Lucky that it is not worse. He is happy. He is not sick with cancer. He is still Jackson. We just see him better now.

11 months

2011-01-17T16:04:00.001-08:00

In one short month this little babe will be one.

Time has flown.

At 11 months Aiva:

has two teeth

crawls pretty good backward and is starting to go forward

loves to eat sweet potatoes

wears a size twelve months in clothes

jabbers constantly

does not sleep through the night anymore, boo to that.

But we still love her!

What are you willing to give?

2011-01-16T16:09:00.001-08:00

What are you willing to give up for your children? Or I guess the real question in what do you THINK you are willing to give up for them? Thinking you can and actually being able to do it when put in a specific situation are two different things.

Could you give up bread? Ice cream? Sugar? Milk?

Freedom?

Your life?

Being a parent is not easy and it is not predictable. You might think your child is one way until one day you open your eyes and see them in a whole new light. Suddenly you understand them and why they are the way they are, but that doesn't make it easy.

Thinking about my children's future, I hope I can truly say I did the best I could. I helped them the best way I knew how, and I had no regrets.

And I was able to give up ice cream and sugar.

It's a small price to pay for motherhood.

Resolutions

2011-01-12T11:55:00.000-08:00

I am a little slow in posting this seeing as it is now January 12th, but I want to hear your new years resolutions!

Wanna hear mine?

1. Read my scriptures daily (this is going well and I am actually enjoying it!).
2. Get buff. I do have a pretty detailed plan on how I am going to do this so I think it is going to work!
3. Get our finances in order.
4. Simplify my life. I have a tendency to make these REALLY LONG to do lists and if I don't get them done by the end of the day I usually end up feeling like a failure. I have decided to rid myself of this guilt and simplify. If I want to make a to do list I am only allowed to put two "out of the home" items on it, like run errands or go to grocery store. Stuff like house upkeep is a given on the list any day but I am not going to beat myself up if my house isn't spotless when I have visitors (hint hint). So far it's working out great!

So tell me- what are yours?

Goodbye Utah

2011-01-04T18:02:00.001-08:00

Saw the fam.

Wore some glasses at new years breakfast,

posed provocatively in the door way,

had an amazing new years eve dinner,

played in the snow at night,

sledded down the street in the day,

had a fantastic anniversary,

saw many friends,

celebrated a 3rd birthday with an awesome cake,

saw some more fam,

and more fam,

and of coarse got Thomas the train,

and a some sweet 80's white elephant gifts,

and saw some more fam,

and smiled a lot.

We will miss you all. We had so many good times but it is time to get back to life as we know it.

See you in six months, maybe :)

Year in review

2011-01-03T10:35:00.000-08:00

2010 was a crazy year for us. It all started with the birth of our sweet baby Aiva, who got RSV when she was 10 days old and had to be hospitalized. We knew she would recover but it was still a sad and stressful time.

Then Reid got accepted to law school and we up and moved to Florida.

We have been adjusting to this new life and new routine and we are loving every minute of it!

Reid had his 30th birthday, Jack had his 3rd and Reid and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary.

We have flown 6 times this year, sold one car and attempted to sell one condo (which is still in the process).

I went from being a working mom of two to a stay at home mom. I am still adjusting to how I feel about that :)

We have gone from a very large and substantial savings account to pretty much nothing.

We have gone from being 1 of a million Mormons in a concentrated area to being 1 of very few.

We have learned and grown so much, so even though it was kind of a rough year, we have to say thank you to 2010 for all that you've taught us.

Things can only get better from here!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T19:05:00.000-08:00

We are in Utah visiting for Christmas and so far we are having a blast seeing all our friends and family! We can't wait to see everyone we haven't seen yet!

Me and Shanna at the must visit Cafe Rio.

Reid and his sister Melanie that came in from Alaska. We love you Melanie!

Me and my mom.

Aiva and grandma Mann opening presents.

Jack in his new shoes.

Some of the girl cousins at the Christmas party.

Jacks favorite gift, THOMAS THE TRAIN!!

Me and Reid with My brother Corbin, his girlfriend, brother Carl and his wife Mckell and my sister Angela and her husband Colin. Thanks for the amazing dinner Mckell's fam!

Two cuties in their Christmas outfits.

I think this is my favorite pic of the season. She looks so sweet and naughty sneaking that candy cane. What a precious girl.

We had a fantastic Christmas and love celebrating the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ and being with our family. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

3

2010-12-17T09:47:00.001-08:00

This kid is going to be three on the 26th of this month. It is kind of mind blowing for me. Three years seem like they have gone by in warp speed and this little boy has changed at that pace too.

I owe him a lot. I think heavenly father gave me a crazy, energetic, impulsive, loving child like him for my first to teach me empathy. I am a much more compassionate person because of him. He has taught me a level of patience I didn't know was possible. Along with a level of happiness I never thought I would achieve.

He is at that really funny stage where he says crazy things all the time. I love how he says maybe about everything. He looks outside at night and says "maybe dark" or if his food is too warm it's "maybe hot." He loves his sister a lot. And she loves him just as much if not more. He is a very sensitive child, despite his outer "tough guy" exterior.

At three years old he:

Is potty trained even at night!!

Has a lot of friends that he loves playing with.

Still struggles with sharing and all of that but we are working on it.

Loves Thomas the Train and Curious George.

Misses his family and loves talking to them on the "peuter"

Loves to play with cars and anything boy.

Can say his ABC's and count to 15.

Loves nursery and going to the "kid Zone" at the gym.

Loves to read any kind of book.

Jackson, we love you so much. thanks for being patient with our leaning curve and putting up with our incompetence all these years. Hopefully you will grown to be an amazing man just like your father, dispute our inexperience :). You are a special boy and we are so blessed to have you. Happy birthday.

Oh my...

2010-12-13T17:51:00.001-08:00

Today I made another brave excursion to the grocery store. I thought things would go better because Reid was there, and for the most part it did, except for one thing.

Jackson ran off in the store and I chased him down and grabbed his hand, gently, and led him back to the cart. Well he decided to start yelling "ow mom that hurts my hand!! It hurts!!" Over and over again! I know I was not holding his hand tight at all. He got us lots of funny looks from strangers.

I guess I should be used to it by now.

Christmas photo shoot

2010-12-06T19:34:00.000-08:00

We had a great time taking pics at Jax beach for our Christmas card! It was pretty cold so the shoot only lasted about a half hour and all our noses were running like crazy.

Getting four people to smile and look at the camera at the same time is impossible.

I don't know if it was harder to get Reid to look at the camera, or the kids.

Love this one.

These two are so darling. They were such good sports.

Sweet peanut.

The meatball kiss

And the classic back shot.

We will be putting the cards in the mail shortly. You should consider yourselves lucky to receive one :)

We will be in Utah in two weeks! Can't wait!

clarity

2010-12-03T12:13:00.000-08:00

I think I am getting close to making the right decisions, thanks to my blogger buddies and friends who chat with me on the phone for hours (you know who you are), and prayer.

I need to keep in mind what is really important. My children are worth any sacrifice I need to make to keep their lives as stress free as possible, same with my husband. It's all good and I am so grateful that this is the hardest decision I have to make right now.

I need some advice..

2010-12-01T17:33:00.000-08:00

I am having a conundrum of thoughts lately (Does that make sense?).

I really don't know what to do. I want/need to get a job and the job I WANT is at the NICU at Wolfson's Children's hospital here but it is a long drive and straight nights. I t would be so amazing and if I want to be a NICU nurse it would teach me everything I need to know and I could get a job at any NICU wherever we end up after this. In order to do this I would need to get another car (expensive), and be able to stay up all night three nights a week AND continue to do ALL the things I am doing at home while Reid is in school. Working nights is so exhausting and it is so hard to recover from, this is really my biggest concern.

I have another option. There is a Mayo clinic literally two minutes from my house and there is a ton of openings that I am mildly interested in. I really don't want to go back to working with adults but it's straight days (woo hoo!), better pay, and it would need to eliminate the need for another car so that would save us another expense. BUT it's not what I want to do! I am worried that if I go back to adults that it will be hard to get into pediatrics again or that it will change the direction of my career.

There is another catch, does the expense of working (paying for insurance, paying for daycare, paying for groceries because yes we are on government assistance like every grad student) outweigh the benefits? I know that totally makes us sound like free loaders, but I promise if you have kids and your spouse is in grad school, this is how you have to live so don't judge! So if I took a job I would have to pay for all those expenses out of pocket , which would pretty much equal a full pay check, and add stress to my family.

I NEED to work for my sanity and to keep my licence up but I can't find anything part time or once a week here!

So that is my problem. What should I do?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T06:15:00.000-08:00

We love and miss everyone and hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!

We are grateful to be here in beautiful Jacksonville and more grateful that Reid has finals next week and then we will be able to have some fun for Christmas. Wish him luck!

(not that he needs it :))

the diva

2010-11-21T17:59:00.001-08:00

That's right, this miss is nine months old, going on 16!!

she is quite the little diva. She has some major attitude.

She reels you in with that sweet little smile, gets you hooked with her doting stare, and then, she will continue to milk you for everything you got and if you don't give into her, it will be the melt down of the year!!

But I love her.

nine month stats:

16 lbs 13 oz (20% isle)

27.6 inches tall (50% isle)

head size 17.9 inches (95% isle!! ha ha ha)

This girl is all noggin, and it shows in her manipulation skills.

watch out.

The supermarket fiasco

2010-11-16T15:00:00.001-08:00

Kids have a sixth sense when it comes to going to the store. Any kid of store ignites their inner demon, it must be the scent of money in the air. Going grocery shopping with two children is about 99th on my list of "100 things I hate to do with kids," and yet it is a necessary evil.

I have had two grocery store nightmares in the past week. The first was at Costco. It went something like this:

Enter store, things seem to be going well, five minutes in: mini infant melt down (luckily my friend Loni was there to assist me on this one). I think everyone in Jacksonville was at Costco that day which does not make for easy maneuvering and makes me very flustered. We were just about ready to check out when Jackson spilled a bottle of water all over the floor. A nice worker came and mopped that one up, and I brushed it off. I started to load my items on the belt to check out and discovered I had crushed my eggs and they were broken all over EVERYTHING in my cart. The cashier and I had to clean off all my items plus the floor. I was mildly flustered at this point but figured I was now in the clear. Enter concessions stand. It is tradition that Jack gets a slice of pizza and a drink at Costco. We get the pizza and he comes walking up to the table to sit down and somehow slips and lands on his belly right on top of his soda. I have no clothes for him and he is very upset. Sweet Loni sits with the kids while I go load the groceries in the car and quietly have a mini nervous breakdown.

Today I was not so lucky to have someone there to help.

I was making a quick (ha ha) trip to Walmart to get some things for dinner. We were almost done when I was turned to get something off the shelf and Aiva starts SCREAMING and I mean like bloody murder like she was dying! She NEVER screams like this so Jack is trying to comfort her (I have a sneaking suspicion he caused the melt down) and I am doing my best to unbuckle her from the car seat. I pick her up (all while a woman was doing her best not to look at me or offer to help even though we were the only two people in the isle) and she proceeds to barf all down the front of my shirt and arms.

I was holding her out (the way you do after a baby barfs on you) and trying to get a burp cloth out of the bag, while she is screaming (and the woman is still ignoring me) and jack is saying "I want to go for a walk" over and over again, and I just start laughing. First a giggle and then hysterically. I thought this crap only happens on T.V. Apparently not.

I'm glad it happened on a day I thought it was funny.

This is what we did today...

2010-11-14T17:33:00.001-08:00

November 14th, 2010.

Don't hate.

GOOD GOOD GOOD NEWS!

2010-11-10T10:47:00.000-08:00

The short sale went through and Bank of America is forgiving the deficiency on our end COMPLETELY!

We will close on the sale the first part of December and be rid of this year long nightmare!
Woo Hoo!!

staying sane

2010-11-06T16:28:00.000-07:00

I am not one to hide how I am feeling. It is not a part of my personality. I wear my feelings on my face unless it is absolutely necessary that I don't (like at work). I think a lot of people get freaked out if you're too honest, so if you're one of those people, I suggest you tune out now.

Being a stay at home mom is hard work. It is not just demanding because you are constantly doing something for your children, it's very demanding emotionally. You have to give up a lot of who you are when your children are newborns and then figure out a way to slowly integrate those things back into your life as your children become more independent. I am struggling with this. I never thought I would have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom. I really do love it, but for five years I worked really hard to get my bachelors degree in nursing, and for three years after that trying to find a job I loved.

Being a nurse and doing that kind of work is very rewarding and it has become a part of who I am. I NEED to work to stay sane. That is just how I operate. I need 12 hours to go and think about something other than being a mom, to find my identity.

I don't want to take this time for granted, but I am struggling with being content at home right now.

So all you SAHM's nice work.

Mistakes

2010-11-04T17:22:00.000-07:00

I love mistakes. I really do. They hurt like hell when they're really big ones but in the end, the more they hurt, the more you grow.

Now rest assured I don't go out seeking mistakes specifically for learning experiences but I do enjoy when the storm is over and I can look back and reflect on what there is to learn.

I have made my fair share of mistakes. Reid and I have made a big one or two together. WE bought that condo in Salt Lake and have been trying to sell it for the last two years with no luck. So we decided to do a short sale, to get out of it and start over because we had exhausted all of our other options. We are currently in the process of that. It is not pretty by any means. We are harassed daily by our mortgage company and people trying to collect on the debt we owe. It is extremely stressful. I never ever in my wildest dreams thought I would be in this position, but here we are.

I feel bad that Reid has to deal with this on top of law school. But that is life, and it sucks sometimes.

I know now that lots and lots and lots of research will be done before we buy any property again and that when said property is purchased, we will live there for at least ten years. I know now that owing a home is not something you are entitled to, it is something you have to earn and know you can handle. I know a lot about the ins and outs of buying and selling a home. I know now that you can't trust anyone to do your dirty work, you have to do it all on your own. I know now that my credit score does not determine who I am and I can start fresh.

We will recover from this. It just hurts like hell right now.

Halloween Good times!

2010-11-01T17:13:00.000-07:00

So I guess we are starting this backward since I don't have time to re-arrange these pics. WARNING: PICTURE OVERLOAD! Here is the little man all tuckered out and filthy. Both are signs of a fun night.

This is the trunk or treat at our church. It was so much fun!! Reid did a great job decorating our trunk, everyone thought it was awesome!

The fog was sweet.

Jack trunk or treating. He was a candy fiend!

Me dressed as a glam rocker with the kitten.

Reid shaved his head like this! It was some serious dedication to his look.

The kitten.

My mowhawk.

Our fam, we totally don't match but it was fun.

I loved his hair except it just flaked off and ended up all over his face.

This was a cute little Halloween party we went to with Jackson's friends. He had a blast.

All the kids at the party.

This is Aiva's BFF Jaycee. They are like six weeks apart.

And lastly the happy pair.

We really had a great Halloween. We trunk or treated and enjoyed the beautiful Florida weather, cooked some good chili, hung out with some sweet friends and even squoze a date night in there thanks to our awesome friends here. It's a good life.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

I know I put these on faceboook but I love them so much I can't NOT do a blog post.

We went to this pumpkin patch a few weeks ago with our play group here and it's nothing like the pumpkin patches in Utah, I am pretty sure they don't grow them here, but it was something that made things kind of look like fall. Jack had fun picking a pumpkin and Aiva loved posing for the camera.

I am getting the hang of this stay at home mom thing I think. It's good. It really is. It makes it hard to want to go back to work, which is very necessary and would be good in it's own way.

But for now we are having fun and I can't wait to show pics of the kids in their costumes! Jack is superman and Aiva is a kitten. You might die from over exposure to cuteness.

Mexican Spider Man

2010-10-21T17:53:00.000-07:00

This is Spider Man. This Spider Man came from the beautiful island :) of Mexico.

Reid and I picked him up about a year ago when we went on a Mexican Riviera cruise.

He cost uno dollar. That's right, ONE dollar.

He is lightweight crappy plastic, the arms and legs detach, he used to have a parachute attached to him but we had to take it off (strangulation risk), and he is surely filled with lead.

Why am I telling you about the Mexican Spider Man?

Because this toy is the source of much turmoil in our house. Jack loves him. Now Aiva has developed a new found love for him. This is bad, very bad.

I need another Mexican Spider Man. I would love to have it by Christmas for Aiva. Does anyone know anybody headed that direction? I have my pesos ready.

"my pee pee big"

2010-10-19T08:29:00.000-07:00

Potty training Jackson has been WAY easier than I thought it would be. He had a few accidents here and there in the beginning but after a month, he is diaper free ALL THE TIME! He even refuses to wear them at night and usually stays dry.

The only down side to having a potty trained boy is this new sense of awareness about his body that he has. Now I know in the long run knowing your body is a good thing, but when you are a toddler boy and don't understand what is appropriate, it is SUPER embarrassing for the mom (me).

Jackson plays with "himself" a lot. And I have no idea how to get him to stop! I tell him it's not appropriate and that he needs to do that in a private place but he doesn't understand. So he fiddles with himself (usually over his clothes, thank goodness) at THE WORST TIMES!! The park, the grocery store, church. Yeah it's great.

Yesterday he woke up from his nap and he said "Mommy, my pee pee big." It caught me so off guard that I didn't know what to say! Then he pulled down his underwear and said "I fix it!!" and he started trying to push it back in! I told him to stop and that we don't play with our pee pee and he said "no, I fix it!" I am pretty sure this is a battle I am not going to win.

So for those of you raising boys, I say good luck.

the joys of motherhood.

2010-10-17T07:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took Jack and Aiva to the park in the evening so Reid could get some homework done. This park is so cute and fun. We go here often. Well tonight we faced some obstacles. First of all, I was suffering from what I think are terrible allergies so my eyes got really red and scary looking as soon as we got there and I was sneezing all over the place. Next, Aiva wasn't feeling the best and just wanted to be held. So as I am holding my baby I some how am able to muscle Jackson up onto the swing and other things he needs help with, with my unoccupied arm (I usually get some strange looks when I do this). And the last obstacle is Jackson. He is mostly potty trained and does really well but he had had an unfortunate bout of diarrhea earlier in the day that I thought he was over.

So here we are, me sniffing and sneezing like crazy, Aiva crying and being overall pretty fussy, and Jackson hops off the swing and I notice a wet spot on his bum. Upon closer inspection I realize it was poop. And the conversation went like this:

me: "Jack we need to go change your pants, you have poop in them."

Jack: "No mom, I had a tooty bum!" (which is what we say for fart)

me: "OK but when you had that toot, poop came out in your underwear."

Jack: (very loud and angry right in my face because he is potty trained) " NO MOM IT JUST A TOOTY BUM!!!! GOSH!"

and he ran away. I love the way people stare when they see a kid lay the smack down on their parents. I think it makes them feel better about their own parenting shortfalls (I know it does for me!)

So I chase him down and take him into the bathroom where, while I am holding Aiva in one arm, I help him out of his pants, lift him onto the potty, change said pants, wash one hand at a time and lift him up to the sink (still holding Aiva) so he can wash his hands, and we walk out of the bathroom. Him in a fresh new outfit, me a sweaty mess.

Gotta love it.

30

2010-10-12T18:24:00.001-07:00

This guy is the big 3-0 today!!! Happy birthday honey!

So in an effort to make 30 a little less scary, Reid is going to be known as XXX (triple X) for the next year (because XXX is the roman numeral for 30, and it's super awesome).

XXX is an awesome guy. He is in law school and still manages to be a great dad.

XXX has accomplished so much in his short 30 years. He has served a mission, got married, graduated with his bachelors degree, had two kids, gone on vacations to Mexico, Hawaii and a Mexican Riviera cruise, bought a condo and is currently trying to sell said condo, moved to Florida and is attending law school. Whew! Nice work XXX, keep it up.

We love you!

random good times

2010-10-10T13:52:00.000-07:00

There really aren't words to express the cuteness emanating from this pic.

This beautiful girl is rolling around and having a good time. I am ready for her to start crawling.

Jacks fav pastime lately is blowing bubbles... and wearing his spiderman hat.... in 90 degree weather.

Jack made this cat in the hat hat a few weeks ago at the gym day care. He is becoming quite the craft making boy, he loves it. I love that hat, I hope he wears it forever.

Halloween outfits

2010-10-10T13:47:00.001-07:00

I got these cute little onesies at Walmart for three bucks and just couldn't help myself. I think Aiva looks like such a doll!! Jacks outfit is pajamas but he loves them and I earned cool mom points because they are glow in the dark.. We are looking forward to Halloween this year! It will be nice and warm........

VOTE FOR AIVA!!!

2010-10-06T10:46:00.000-07:00

Yep I am not one of those moms. The ones who put their kids in cute baby contests but I kind of have to blame all of you for telling me to do it!!

So VOTE FOR AIVA!! Go here and search for Aiva in Jacksonville. It should pull up her photo, and click vote!! Now here is the tricky part, you have to confirm it in your email. It goes to your spam and it takes like ten minutes or so to get there (and it's never at the top so you have to scroll through it a little bit) then just submit it.

You can vote EVERY DAY until the end of the month and we are way behind so help us win!!

VOTE!
(because this is super important and you don't have your own problems to worry about, just humor me, I would do it for you :))

Attitude of Gratitude

2010-10-04T18:36:00.001-07:00

(This pic is SUPER old but I needed one and I don't have any on my crappy computer)

Dear General Conference:

You were truly amazing. I LOVED Pres. Monson's talk about gratitude. It was really some extremely uplifting, life-changing stuff. If you're not LDS or didn't see conference, I highly suggest you check out his talk here.

I fully intend on making this more of a president in my life. Gratitude really makes life so much better. It makes it easier to celebrate the small victories (a mostly potty trained boy, a sweet baby who loves to roll all over, an amazing husband that works so hard every day, a better job passing up things that are tempting) instead of focusing on larger failures.

There are people in my life who I am so grateful for and I am sure I don't tell them enough. Mom, Deena, Grandma Sarah, Dionne, Reid, Kristin, Mindy, Ashley, Angela, all the sweet people I have met here in Jacksonville and the list really does go on and on. I am so grateful for you all. I am so blessed to live such an amazing life.

Gratitude is contagious, you better watch out.

life really is what you make of it

2010-09-29T10:34:00.001-07:00

It's funny the things that you start to realize when you remove all of your previous distractions from your life (i.e. moving to another state and leaving everyone and everything you have ever known). It is rough at times but is providing me with some much needed clarity and ambition. It's nice not to feel bogged down by people, places or things that were holding me back from reaching my full potential.

Think of it like an empty canvas. When I was in Utah I was a painted picture. Some things I really loved about my portrait (my family, friends, cafe Rio), other things were eye-sores that distracted me from looking at the real beauty of my picture (drama, irritating situations, money).

Now I have a fresh start and I have learned what I want to include in this self-portrait and what I don't want to include. I get to paint myself the way I always envisioned I could be. Remove money- you find your creative side and ways to entertain yourself that are so much more fun! Remove the drama (and hopefully keep it out) and live a life being non-judgmental and kind to everyone ( I am not perfect at this but I want to be). Remove extended family (we miss you like crazy) and I get to see what I am capable of. I am left to finding my own resources with the best person I have ever known, my husband. It will make or break our marriage, so far it's making it better than I ever thought it could be.

Insert new friends that are strong in the gospel (not replacing old ones by any means!!!) and watch them help me grow my own testimony. Insert a new place where I get to form my own opinions about my surroundings and decide if this is really a place where I would want to live for an extended period of time. Insert the trials of law school (pun intended) and I get to do my very best every day and work as hard as I can to mold and shape my children into amazing people and help lighten my husband's load in any way I can. He is working SO hard for us so I will work hard for him and our children.

I think this new portrait will be something great.

7 months

2010-09-23T17:55:00.000-07:00

This little cutie is seven months old now!! I can't believe it ( I know I say that every month but I seriously can't get over how fast she grows). She is so funny!

She loves to babble and a few days ago I was feeding her some baby food and she looked at me and said "ma-ma." Plain as day. I was so caught off guard and she just sat there and smiled at me. I can't decide if that was her first word or just a random babble but it melted my heart for real! She is very attached to me and loves to cuddle. It is pretty dang sweet.

I think with Jack I was so absorbed with looking for this or that milestone that I didn't just take it in and cherish his babyhood. I am not making that same mistake again.

Nocturnal

2010-09-23T17:42:00.001-07:00

Last Friday evening we headed to the beach because there were supposed to be some pretty sweet waves from Igor (Reid thinks that he is a sweet boogie boarder) and we stayed until it was dark. It was so beautiful. I love the beach at night.

What a sweetie.

Jackson found some random kids and was having a blast playing with them until he wouldn't quit throwing sand in their faces, so the fun came to an end, but that my friends is another story.

Double sweetie (with a slight receding hair line)

Classic.

Getting buried in the sand is a right of passage.

Me and my pal Loni. Thanks for coming to the beach with us guys! Oh and my head really isn't that big, I'm just the one holding the camera so it's closer to me hence making my head appear abnormally large.

Good times.

Jax zoo X 2

2010-09-23T17:35:00.001-07:00

Here we are on yet another merry trip to the zoo. This is the cute little splash park they have there, the kids go crazy over this place!

Jack took this pic of me and Aiva.

The little miss.

Brushing the goats. Jackson has to brush each and every one of them, and then as he walked away he would kick dirt on them, I am not really sure why he does this.

These two girls are some of his buddies. The girl in the yellow is Brooklyn and the girl in the pink is Kenna. They are BFF's when they aren't pushing, hitting and trying to scratch each other's eyes out. You know, the usual methods of toddler problem solving.

The long and short of it

2010-09-17T10:18:00.000-07:00

It's weird. Some days I am here and it's like a fun vacation everyday mixed with little sprinkles of real life. Other days its real life with a tiny sprinkle of vacation. Then there is the rare day where it's just sad. I get a little homesick and pretty lonely even with kids and lots of friends around to talk to. Reid is in his world and I am in mine, which is fine, it's just a little lonely without him sometimes.

The days are really pretty busy. Most of the time I look at the clock and wonder how it is five p.m. already. But, there is the rare day, where I long for mountains and fall weather (instead of the 90 degree stuff we're still having), and family and friends from Utah. You are all missed.

There is one place that really feels like home to me, and that is the beach. I always tell Reid that every time we step onto the sand and I hear the roar of the ocean, it just feels like coming home. All of my troubles are washed away and I am instantly hypnotized by the water. I literally could sit there all day. It is therapeutic. I wish that the feeling would last but pretty much as soon as we get in the car the loneliness starts to creep back up. It's not overwhelming but it lingers.

I didn't take that job. It didn't feel right. I want Reid to get through finals and not be stressed and if I had started that job, he would have been more stressed than he needs to be. I will, however, be getting a job in January, hopefully in the NICU that I was looking at. I think that will help the loneliness a little bit.

A HUGE plus side to not working, besides staying home with my kids, is WE GET TO COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!! Now, we haven't purchased tickets yet and funds are super tight, but it looks like it's going to happen, dates still unknown. And while this feels like forever away, I know it will come fast and it will be SO needed.

crazy jack

2010-09-12T18:14:00.001-07:00

Here is Jack cuddling with one of his new little friends malynn. He was jumping up on the couch to cuddle with her, it was super cute.

Chocolate milk face.

this is how he sleeps.

I love this Mr. Potato head he made!! He was so proud of himself and called it his "potato monster" He looks so grown up in this pic I seriously can't believe it.

And lastly here he is on the potty. I finally broke down and bought one of these little ones because he would not go in the big potty with the little toilet ring for whatever reason but as soon as I got this he pees in it a couple of times per day and he even went poop in it the other day!! I told him if he would go poop in the potty I would let him pick out a movie and he totally shocked me and pulled his potty out and sat down and went! So he picked out the movie Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and watched it and now he wont poop in the potty. He got what he wanted and now he's done!

He is so funny lately. He is very silly and love to sass us. He always says "just a minute mom!" when I ask him to come here and when we try to put him to bed he pulls out every excuse in the book to get out of it. tonight it was "nuggets, drink of juice, drink of water, pee pee potty, poop in potty, brush teeth, eat food, read books....." The list goes on and on and he just runs all these together to see if anything will work (it doesn't I promise).

He's crazy. We like it that way (sometimes).

Labor day weekend for the books

2010-09-12T17:29:00.001-07:00

We went to a beautiful beach called Ponte Vedra with a bunch of friends for labor day and it was so fun! I love going to the beach with friends especially so jack can play with all the kids.

Attempt number 3 at a family pic. At least Reid looks hot :)

The wild child in the waves

Jack pretending to sleep in this chair.

This is a pic of some of the kids and ladies that came with us. They are the best!

Reid spent most of his time in the water. He is becoming quite the little boogie boarder/body surfer. We are trying to decide if the waves are big enough here to get a surf board. maybe for his b-day? ?

Spankings

2010-09-07T10:39:00.001-07:00

I spanked my son today, for the first time with intent to harm (I have done it softly other times because I just couldn't do it to hurt him). I did it and it felt terrible.

He wouldn't go down for his nap and over and over again I took him back into his room and calmly laid him down on his bed, then I shut the door, then I locked the door, then he would proceed to scream and slam his fists on the door, then I would open it again so he wouldn't wake up his sister. I told him if he cam out one more time, I would spank him, so he did, and I spanked.

He looked at me like his world had been shattered and I firmly told him to stay in bed, even though my heart was breaking, and walked out just as he started to cry softly into his pillow.

My son is wild. I have been trying parenting with love and logic, time out, sitting in the "thinking chair", taking away privileges and it all yields the same results, no results. I am a firm believer that spanking does not work and only makes your kids fear you. So now I am stuck.

I want to cherish my son and love him, because there are so many people out there who have lost children or have sick children that would love a naughty little boy to fight day in and day out. But I am tired. And I am sorry. I am sorry I spanked you Jack. Please never look at me like that again. I love you.

Jacksonville zoo

2010-08-29T18:41:00.000-07:00

We went to the Jacksonville zoo with our new pal Kacey and her little girl Brooklyn and it was so fun! The zoo was seriously the nicest zoo I have ever been to and they had really exotic, fun animals.

The rhino pit.

we got to feed these giraffes, they were so cool!

This giraffe would reach out with her long tongue and take the branch out of Jack's hand. He loved it!

Jackson and his new pal brooklyn.

Sweet Aiva and her cozy accommodations. She was such a trooper, we were at the zoo three hours and she didn't even make a peep!

I wanted to take more pics but my battery died. We had so much fun, thanks Kacey! And if you ever come to visit, this place will be on our list!

This is jack looking at the snakes. He loved them!

adjusting

2010-08-27T11:55:00.000-07:00

I think we are starting to get the hang of this thing.

Reid seems to be enjoying the material and is learning what to pick out of all the pages and pages of reading. Jackson is starting to sleep through the night again (thank goodness) with the exception of about once per night he comes wandering into our room but falls back to sleep pretty easily. Aiva 's is, well Aiva. She's still her sweet easy going self which makes my life so much easier. I am meeting lots of new people and keeping myself busy, most days, so the time is flying by!

It's funny, I always thought I was pretty resourceful and self sufficient, but I have learned that I definitely had room to grow. I was so super proud of myself when a sweet girl from the ward, Kasey, came over and taught me how to hang pictures. We hung up this big office organizer thing and I never thought I could do something like that without Reid but we did it! (I am so lame that I think I am accomplished for that :))

I am also realizing how capable I am. I can carry my big double stroller up and down the stairs, I can carry TWO sleeping children into the house at the SAME time (up a flight of stairs I might add), I CAN take out the garbage (shocking I know) and unplug garbage disposals... all the things that I would have left for Reid when he got home from work. It is an empowering feeling.

Lets just hope it lasts....for a long time.

week in review

2010-08-22T17:12:00.001-07:00

Here is the little miss in the tub. Her hair is so long it floats.

Rain or shine we went to the beach! You can't tell but it was a total downpour when reid took this pic.

Jack found a whole crab skeleton in tact at the beach

the crab.... he is now our mascot since we are so "crabby"... he he he.

the week was super crazy. Reid is gone all day and then studies late into the night where our children proceed to keep us awake in shifts. Jack wakes up scared 3 times a night and Aiva wakes up twice to eat. IT's been a little rough I'm not going to lie.

BUT.... we went to the beach, we have some really awesome neighbors. I met all the wives who's husbands are in law school and are LDS and we have a husband-less dinner on wed night and a play group every week. It has been so amazing to meet such awesome ladies that are going through the same thing as us.

Oh and Jack shoved a noodle up his nose and got a huge sliver stuck in his foot. Then he head-butted me and about knocked me out. I think I will use this against him when he is older.

So anyone have any suggestions that have worked to get a scared kid to sleep through the night? We have seriously tried everything...

Have a good week! we will try and do the same!

6 months

2010-08-17T17:00:00.001-07:00

This little beauty is six months old today!! I can't believe what a precious thing she is. She is so darling and sweet natured.

she is scooting across the floor (mostly on her back), eating cereal and fruits and veggies, jabbering up a storm, and stealing every ones hearts. She is so funny when she doesn't want something she will moan and push it away from her. Jackson was never that verbal at this age!

She is 14 lbs, 26 1/2 inches (I think, I can't remember exactly).

I love this little peanut.

(thanks morgan for the beautiful pictures :))

Real world

2010-08-16T18:52:00.000-07:00

The time has come my little friends to write of many things, of homes and heat and ceiling fans, of law school and cuties (kids I mean).

sorry about the lame attempt at poetry.

I am feeling a little lonely after looking at a photo album with jack. he misses you all and so do I.

Some people were rude to me today, but I have chosen not to let them get the better of me.

Reid had his first day of class and is already behind and feeling super stressed... a grand welcome to law school I guess.

I need someone to come and help me hang stuff and clean my ceiling fans since my husband is too busy.... anyone available? It's only a six hour flight....

Jackson looked at a picture of a hippo and said "Daddy!!" It might have been the funniest thing I have ever heard.

love you all.

the beach

2010-08-13T16:59:00.001-07:00

Life can't get much better than living by the beach or as they call it in Jacksonville, living "the salt life." And it really is, because everything is always salty and sandy but it's cool, that's how we like it. We have been sampling the beaches around here and they are all filled with gorgeous white sand and NO tar balls :) They also aren't very crowded. These were at the beach closest to our house called Jax beach. It's where all the sweet locals go :)This little miss has gotten quite the tan. It is so cute to see the white in her little baby fat rolls next to her tan skin. I tried to take a pic of it but it didn't turn out too well.

Me and Jack wave hopping in the ocean. He is fearless and loves the waves!

Chillin.

Reid really isn't one of those weirdos that wears their shirts on the beach, we had just gotten there. These two have a blast together in the ocean.

And lastly here are my feet, because isn't that just the epitome of the beach?

ok ok, here it is, now get off my back :)

2010-08-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

Well at last I decide to quit vacationing and start getting stuff done!! I have been wanting to post pics of tons of things but I thought I would start with the place, since you all have been bothering me so much (kidding). It's not decorated but here it is:

this is the entry way. This is what you see right when you walk in the door.

HUGE kitchen!!

living room area (also really big- pics don't do it justice)

view from the patio door

kids bathroom (messy from swimming stuff)

jacks room, well his bed anyway.

part of Aiva's room (the rooms really are ginormus)

crib. (check out the sweet crib bumper I just got, it's breathable so it helps prevent SIDS)

Master bath. There aren't any pics of our room because it's a mess :)

I wanted to take a pic of the pool because it is super sweet but I'm too lazy :) We really like this complex though. So far people have been really nice and it's pretty quiet. I've already met a ton of cool people and we love the area. Pretty sa.weet.

quickie

2010-07-25T13:25:00.000-07:00

I think my blog is going to be neglected for a while, along with other things in my life (such as exercising :))

We loaded the truck and cleaned the apartment (longest day ever). Thanks to all that helped!

Reid leaves tomorrow and has to be in Florida by the 29th. I feel bad that him and his dad have to unload that truck alone, well unless some people from our new ward show up, but I can't help but feel a little happy that I don't have to deal with that.

I fly out to Florida on the 2nd. So for now I am at the in-laws chillin with the kiddos.

I'll be around all week so if anyone wants to hang out, give me a call!

my little dare-devil

2010-07-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

Jack is such an adrenaline junky even at two and a half!!

We went swimming at Murray pool yesterday and he wanted to jump off the diving board! So we asked the lifeguard if it was OK and she said as long as he could swim to the other side by himself that he could do it so off he went!!

He loved it and did it over and over and over, he even went down the big water slide by himself!
(don't worry he had a life jacket on)

I just wish I had my camera.

Oh crazy boy- I'm going to have to have some good insurance for you when you're a teenager :)

All the preggo ladies (and baby mama's)

2010-06-26T15:37:00.001-07:00

In recent months I have realized the amount of pregnant women and new moms I personally know is, well, A LOT.

As some of you may know, I work in the nursery/NICU at St Marks hospital. I seriously have the best job- love the work, love the people, love the babies.

I also am a mother of two. I did things completely different with my second babe (now four months) than I did with my first because of this job. It has taught me so much about newborns and babies in general that I pretty much feel comfortable around any baby out there and can figure out what they need relatively quickly.

A preggo frendie of mine told me that I ought to share my wise words with the world. So here goes:

Meg's top ten newborn baby tricks:
10- It's OK if your baby squirms and fusses a little bit, this is how they work out gas bubbles and wake up from a nap. If you pick them up right away they might not wake up well enough to eat or they might be distracted by that fart they weren't able to get out.

9- Don't hold your baby 24/7. Again, same concept as #10. Hold them a lot, don't get me wrong, but if you hold them all the time (when they sleep, eat and after they eat) they never just get to 'be' and they get used to you holding them all the time so that is all they want. Feed them and let them lay and play for 10 or 15 min. Then hold em again.

8- Formula is NOT Satan's milk. It really is OK to give your baby formula if you don't produce enough milk, are tired, or just don't WANT to breastfeed. Don't stress.

7- If your baby is crying and you've changed her diaper, burped her, fed her, unwrapped her (in case she was hot) and held her, PUT HER DOWN and let her cry for a few. She'll survive and you wont shake your baby.

6- If you are breast feeding and you eventually want your baby to be able to take a bottle, introduce it early, like at two weeks of age, for best results.

5- Engorgement is rough. When your milk come sin at first it is hard to get a let down and get it to come out so your baby can eat. Try using hot packs for 5 -10 min before you nurse, it helps a ton, and ice afterward.

4- Breastfeeding does not come naturally to most babies or moms, so if you want to have a successful experience, plan on staying home and nursing your baby on demand, for at least a month.

3- Feed your baby when he is hungry, do not put them on a schedule until they are sleeping through the night.

2- Binkies are your friend.

1- Do what works for YOU and your baby. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about not breastfeeding, only breastfeeding, staying home or anything else. Motherhood comes with enough guilt.

So love your baby and have fun (as much fun as you can being super sleep deprived) !!!

comparison

2010-06-18T12:43:00.001-07:00

Jack at four months!! HA I love that face and this pic!

And miss Aiva at four months. Her bro had two pounds AND two inches on her... and I thought he was little!

When you compare them like this they look so different. I love these kids!

4 months!

2010-06-18T12:34:00.001-07:00

We have reached yet another milestone of baby-hood. Four months!
This little one is still truly a little one :
weight: 11 lbs 11 oz (yes I promise we feed her- 15th percent isle)
height: 23 3/4 inches (30th percent isle)
head: 41 cm (50th percent isle)
interpretation: She is small and skinny with a pretty big head.... I think it's pretty cute.

It's also amazing to me that she can lift such a large noggin!
She is trying to sit on her own and REALLY hates tummy time so she rolls off her tummy pretty much as soon as I put her there (hence the pouty face above).

She is starting to giggle a little bit so of coarse we make fools of ourselves often to get her to laugh. It's embarrassing the things babies make you do.

It's go time

2010-06-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

Well, it's time we make this official.....

WE ARE MOVING TO FLORIDA!!!

We have been waiting and waiting to make the final decision but after looking at housing costs and tuition costs, it is going to be much better for our family to move to Jacksonville over San Diego and we are SUPER excited (and a little nervous)!!

We have so much to do! I have applied for a Florida licence (I thought they were in the interstate compact but they're not), we are looking at ways to get our stuff there, we are making a trip out there the middle of July to find a place to live and then we are going to pack up and move August 2nd.

Reid starts school on the 18th but he has orientation on the 9th so we are going to space the 36 hour drive over 5 or 6 days so our kids (and us) don't go insane. Anyone want to come and help us move? :)

We can rent a really nice place for pretty cheap in Jacksonville so we want a three bedroom with lots of space for any visitors..... hint hint. We are also only going to be about three hours away from Disney world and Universal Orlando, which I hear are super fun!!! I think we might go for Christmas.

We are so excited to start this new adventure in our lives.... now we just have to get there!

Jackson's photography

2010-06-11T17:16:00.001-07:00

Jack took these pictures all by himself. I kinda like them. I think he has potential. I kinda like him too.

Crazy kid.

Jack and Aiva

2010-06-11T17:10:00.001-07:00

Jack decided that it was time he teach Aiva how to play video games on daddy's Ipod. I love this one because she was slipping off his lap and he was holding her by the face... good brother.

Here he was trying to make her push the buttons.

She was really watching him here. She is so observant and alert

Special times.

Rub a dub dub a peanut in the tub

2010-06-11T17:05:00.001-07:00

Here is my little peanut in the tub. She's so cute.

I love this face!! I couldn't get one of her smiling though....

So lady like.

no luck is good luck I guess

2010-06-03T05:50:00.000-07:00

I have searched high and low for the mold, and have not found ANY.

I guess that is good but could it be growing under my carpet? I want to have it checked but I don't know if I will get in trouble with my land lord having the carpet pulled up.

I'm glad I haven't found anything but at the same time it means my kids just have super horrible immune systems. I feel like Jack gets an OK diet and Aiva is on formula, and we are really active and are outside a lot, so I don't really know where else to improve. I guest the best solution is getting out of a state that has winter for eight months!!!

Any more suggestions?

is it in the walls?

2010-06-01T21:21:00.000-07:00

So I think my family, well my kids and myself, are suffering from a mold allergy.

Meaning I think there is nasty mold in the wall or something because my kids are sick ALL THE TIME. For the past three and a half months I have had a sick child continually. Jack was really healthy until we moved here when he was eight months old and now it's been cold after cold, ear infection after ear infection.

I have been suffering from cold symptoms for months now. At first I just thought it was because of pregnancy but it still hasn't gone away and it's this really bad sinus pressure, headaches and fatigue.

Aiva, the poor thing, is sick again with what seems like a cold with a low grade fever.

Has anyone dealt with mold? How do I get it checked out? What I do in the mean time to help us all stop getting sick?

please read

2010-05-26T03:40:00.000-07:00

it seems like I know so many people right now with sick kids. I mean REALLY sick kids.

Read this blog and pray for this cute family please.
http://nessasbravejourney.blogspot.com

this little girl needs all the prayers she can get. Oh and have your tissues handy.

it's that time

2010-05-26T03:18:00.000-07:00

Time for an update that is.

I feel like it's so easy (and fun) to write about my cute kiddos and post their pics that it has been a long time since I have written about our lives (not that you care all that much).

This year has been pretty challenging and SUPER busy so far!! !I cannot believe that May is almost over. I think how super blessed I am, even though I have felt like we have had our fair share of trials, we have also been so blessed.

We are still waiting to hear back from two law schools in Cali that Reid was wait-listed at before we decide where he is going to law school but it is for sure between Jacksonville Florida, San Diego, or L.A. We are super excited about these options and will be moving the first part of August!!! We haven't started preparing or anything but we are kind of excited about flying by the seat of our pants.

We have our condo up for sale (the one we used to live in down town and have slowly been loosing money on for the past two years) and nobody wants to buy it because it's not FHA approved. So if you or someone you know is looking for a great investment property down town send them my way!

Reid is working for Convergys being a manager of a call center conducting the U.S. census. The hours aren't the best but the pay is OK, plus it's only temporary.

I started back to work a week and a half ago and it's not too bad. I am working full time right now but will drop down to part time next week :) I really do like my job and have gained a whole new understanding for parents who have their babies in the NICU since our baby was sick. I don't think I will work at all Reid's first semester in law school so we can see what it's like and really what time we will have so I am looking forward to being a stay at home mom for a bit but I'm sure come January I'll be ready to get back to working at least a little bit.

I am working like mad to loose this last ten pounds of baby weight but it doesn't want to budge! I am sabotaging myself a little bit by snacking on Jacks mac and cheese and other delicious foods that put gobs of fat on my bum. If only I could get him to eat "clean" Ha!!

That crazy boy of ours is talking like mad an being a good big brother. Aiva is still smiling up a storm and making us all smile.

That's it in a nutshell!!

Aquarium fun

2010-05-21T15:35:00.001-07:00

We went to the Living planet aquarium on Wed with our friends Shanna and Kelly and their two boys Kade and Max. Here are the boys checking out some fish.

This little beauty loved the fish and would track them all the way across the tank!

Some sweet jelly fish.

I thought this pic was cool looking even though Jack is totally licking the glass!! Nasty!

And last but not least here we are at the penguin exhibit. Jack loved it and would laugh and squeal when the penguins would swim and jump out of the water. (Apparently I was amazed as well)

It was super fun!! We will go back I am sure! Thanks Kelly and Shanna for the fun day, and for rescuing me when my children were both melting down....

3 months!

2010-05-17T10:57:00.001-07:00

This little cutie is three months old!! I can't believe how the time has gone.
She kicks her legs and rolls from side to side. She is also starting to eat her toes!
She loves to smile at her brother and dad.
oh and she is sleeping through the night!! Woo hoo!

(p.s. please don't look at my filthy carpet, I have no idea why I didn't put a blanket down)

motherhood

2010-05-03T20:34:00.001-07:00

In celebration of the upcoming mothers day, I figured I ought to write about my experience being a mother, for prosperity's sake.

Being a mom is probably the CRAZIEST, most TAXING, TIME CONSUMING, FUN, UNEXPECTED, BEST thing that has ever happened to me and probably that ever will happen to me.

I am not a perfect mother. I am far from it, but I do my best (most days). I get down on the floor and roll around with Jackson. I goo and giggle with Aiva and smile at her smallest of developments (she rolled over from her tummy to her back on her two month birthday). I love to take Jack to the park and follow him all over the place. I think I am pretty hands on.

I struggle with guilt. Immeasurable, all consuming, suffocating guilt when I try to do ANYTHING remotely productive instead of playing with my kids. At the end of the day when I reflect on the happenings of said day, I am MUCH happier when I can say I played with my kiddos and gave them the attention they deserved over being able to say I have a spotless bathroom (those who know me know this is silly because I NEVER clean the bathroom, Reid does). But I also struggle with fear.

I fear that I will ruin my kids. That I will in some way make a huge mistake somewhere down the road and they will hate me forever and go off the deep end. I fear that I yell too much at Jack for being a boy (a very sweet one at that). I fear that I put Aiva down on her play mat too much or let her cry too long before I pick her up. I fear that I am not good at balancing my life so that I don't get to the point that I want to freak out and run away from my children.

With all this said, I can still honestly say that nothing will send you on such a crazy roller coaster ride, like being a mother. It is the air I breathe.

My children are the most beautiful gifts from God. I have told many people that I didn't fully understand heavenly fathers love for me until I had my first child. One morning at three a.m. when I was completely exhausted, I looked at my son and felt an overwhelming warmth spread over me. I KNEW and still know to this day that it was my father in heaven wrapping his arms around me and filling me with love. I in turn felt this love for my son. It was at this moment that I realized that there was nothing more important to me in this life than being a mother. Also at this moment I KNEW I would never be able to doubt my testimony and love for my savior EVER again, no matter what happened, because He spoke to me.

I feel so much pain for those of you who can't be mothers or who are struggling with infertility. Your day will come. It has to in some way because heavenly father WANTS you to be a mother. He NEEDS you to bring his children into this world and love them.

I will never be the person I was before I had children. That is OK. I am new. I am improved. I, however, am not on sale :)

I love being a mother. I love my children and husband more than life itself. They are the greatest mothers day gift I could ever have.

Happy mothers day.

2 months

2010-04-28T11:29:00.001-07:00

This sweet little thing is two months old!! My how the time flies!

Love that smile!

Jack wanted to have his pic taken too and was trying to copy how Aiva was laying! He looks huge compared to her!

Got this egg carton idea from Jeni Jo, I love how it gives you a comparison of their growth.

We love this sweet little girl!
At her two month check up she was 9.11 lbs (25th percentile)
23 inches (50th percentile)
and her head was 38 cm (50th percentile)

We were impressed that she gained any weight at all since she has been sick literally her whole life! She is such a cutie!